Don't go banana over banana peels
by Yuki Suou
Summary: As a 22-year old medical student student, the biggest worries in his life were supposed to be whether his parents would find out that his tab was stolen or worse, that his cousin will find out that he had skipped bathing. He was NOT supposed to be worrying about finding a living, keeping his own hide safe and prevent his sister from getting stolen.


**Name: Don't go banana over banana peels.**

 **Rating:** T, mild swearing, just to be safe

 **Summary:** As a 22-year old medical student, the biggest worries in Samit's life were supposed to be whether his parents would find out that his tab was stolen or worse, that his cousin will find out that he had skipped on bathing. Again. He should not have to worry about finding a living, keeping his own hide safe, and prevent his sister from getting stolen. A cousins DIME (Dropped in Middle-Earth) story.

 **Genre:** Adventure, Mystery.

 **Pairing:**?

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't sue. This used to go under the name "You must be joking" by Luin Merenil, I'm revamping it.

 **A/N:** My first time writing real characters out of parodies. All types of reviews are welcome including flames, as long as they make sense. Happy reading.

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Samit looked at every direction, except the front, where his cousin stood glaring at him, hands in hip.

"Ah-hem."

Giving her his best "I'm innocent, really!"look, which seemed to work on everyone except her, he couldn't help but tease, "Are you well, puchku? Do you need cough remedies?"

If possible, the glare intensified.

"Did you bathe yesterday?" Divya demanded.

"Umm, no?"

Her brows furrowed, "What about today?"

At that moment he realized that they were wearing matching boots. Really, people should start to appreciate how much interesting shoes could be. Ah, look at that knot she had made, it looks like it …..

"Are you crazy? We had to go to the morgue yesterday and you didn't even _**think**_ of washing after that dreadful, horrible, stinky class?"

He immediately went defensive, "Look, it's actually Anirban's fault, he forgot to wake me up and I had to nearly run to get the bus, or I would have missed the first class." Truth to be told, he wouldn't have thought of washing even if he had woken up early. But she didn't need to know that.

Her lips thinned. "And I guess all the alarm clocks in your hostel was out of order, hmm? What about your cell-phones? As far as I know, all of them at least have an alarm clock feature?"

Oops, busted.

"God, how can you guys be so…. so… unhygienic?" she threw her hands up in defeat. "I'm not talking to you until you stop smelling like a dead body."

"Wait!"

"And I'm also informing your girlfriend."

"No!"

Scowling at his friends who thought snickering at his misfortune was funny, he ran towards his sister.

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Divya was thoroughly frustrated at her brother's antics. Seriously, they were going to be doctors, if they themselves didn't maintain proper hygiene, what will they advise their patients?

"Why do I have to get stuck with these imbeciles?" Muttering to herself, she heard the approaching steps of her brother.

And in front of her….

She smirked. Hmm, perfect day for a clean-up.

She maintained a steady gait as her brother caught up with her.

"Oi!"

"La la la, I can't hear you!" A little distraction would be sufficient.

"Fine, fine, I'll go and take a shower today, happy?"

She turned to him with a grin, "Sure you will!"

With an yell of "Just a sec!", she snatched the hosepipe from the completely oblivious man who was busy cleaning the founder's statue and was blissfully unaware of the intention of the girl, she immediately turned it to the spot where Samit was standing.

SPLASH!

Her eyes widened.

The Dean was standing just a few steps away from the actual target and both of them were dripping wet.

"Oh shoot!" They exclaimed in unison.

The professor screamed as both of them turned to run.

"Just wait, you two! Which semester? What are your roll numbers?"

She snorted. As if they wanted their death that early.

And then it happened.

No one had noticed the conveniently placed innocent looking banana peel, just in the line of their path.

Samit slipped first. Divya glanced back at the now completely pissed-off professor who was huffing and puffing, just a few feet behind them and ignoring the yells of "Don't you dare run away!" she quickly extended her hands to her currently flailing brother. But unfortunately, owing to either the peel or the wet ground or both, she couldn't keep the balance and both of them went down with a crash.

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Poke.

She pretended that nothing was poking her sides and was completely comfortable in her current position.

A tap on the wings.

It twitched.

A pull on her tail.

She swatted it away with her wings.

Wait, what?

Tail?

Wings?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!"

Her eyes flew open at the squawk, which was supposed to be a very shrill scream.

"I can't believe it."

She looked up inquiringly at her pipsqueak brother who suddenly seemed very, very tall.

What. The. Hell.

Now, she would be lying if she said that she was taller than her brother. Sure she called him pipsqueak, but he was easily a hand taller than her. Not that she would ever admit it to him. But right now, he was towering over her. Like a giant.

She let out a frightened yelp and was again surprised to hear her voice as a "Squawk!"

Then she noticed it.

Her beak.

The wide range of vision.

Her tail.

The wings.

Her movable crest.

Dumbstruck, she stared at her brother.

She was a bird.

A. Bloody. Bird.

Samit scratched the back of his neck, which she registered as a gesture of nervousness.

"Err, you have turned into a bird."

She had barely registered his words when she started hyperventilating. Do birds even hyper-ventilate?

"Hey, hey, hey, puchku!" Apparently they do. "Stop panicking!" I would like to see _you_ not panicking when you get turned into a bird. " ….. I know this must be hard for you, but you need to keep your cool, you hear me? Breathe in, breathe out!" That's what she was trying to do, damnit! " …. Now, I don't know how to explain this, but you've turned into a bird ….." No shit, Sherlock. " …... can you speak? You look like a cockatoo, they generally can."

She blinked. But nothing came out of her mouths except those weird noises.

"No then. Can you understand me?"

She glared at him.

"Okay, okay, you do." He took a deep breath. "Do you have any idea where we are now?"

"In deep, deep, deep, snow." She wanted to say. Of course she knew where they were. Can't he recognize the college …

Oh.

They were in a forest.

She stared at him. This must be a dream. She must have gone into a coma after the hose-pipe incident and her insane brain was dreaming all this up. Only one way to test.

She unfolded her wings.

"Are you trying to fly?"

And then bit it.

"Squaawwwwwwk!"

Her brother immediately lifted her up. "What are you doing?!" Looking at her, he understood what she was thinking. "No, we're not dreaming. This seems real." He placed her on his shoulder carefully, she immediately gripped her perch.

"Can you fly?"

She tried to open her wings and flap them, but she just landed on the ground with a thud.

"That was a no then."

She looked up at him helplessly as he picked her up placed on his shoulder again.

"Alright, Agent Birdy, let's solve this mystery together!" He chuckled. "Though I always thought you would be tiny rabbit if you had an animal form."

An indignant screech made him completely aware of her thoughts regarding that.

This was going to be very long day.

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Thanks for reading. Review please?


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